Lunch ... thoughts

Went to lunch at the Boston Vegetarian Society cafe with farwing on Wednesday. (Apparently, someone was distributing FULL SIZED free chocolate bars in Harvard Sq --- but I missed it b/c I obeyed traffic-laws as a bike and biked the long way 'round. Damn!) Was pretty tasty food. More oily than I would have expected from a Buddhist temple, but that's based entirely on ignorance. I like that the plate was a sampler.

It was an adventure, because I'd never eaten there before, despite thinking of it.

And on the subject of other mild food-adventures, I continued my new mission to spread the word that Chinatown serves Dim Sum/Yum Cha on the weekdays, too.

Each of the tables had a card with the table-number and a short inspirational quote. Our table's quote was

Modesty averts mistakes. Wisdom avoids error. Repentance clears transgression.

When I reached the last line, the words suddenly hit all my High-Holidays button-triggers. The quote wasn't any more deep, but there I was, shocked into a re-awareness of the coming end of the year and the personal growth I'd been hoping to do.

I'm not so satisfied with myself. It hasn't been a bad year to experience; but to do... not so impressive.

I'm especially concerned by the not-one-but-two tempestuous flare-ups with my mother, over the course of one weekend (my cousin's wedding). I wish I could break this pattern, but it seems to be getting worse.
Do I cherish my parents enough? They are amazing people and I have so much respect for them, but I don't stay close. I will loose them someday, and it will be too late when we can't say "they had such a warm, good, close relationship with their daughter".


To everyone that I've hurt, or disappointed, or failed this year: I apologize.
I regret not being a better expression of what/who I hope to be.
If you can find a way to --- gently --- tell me, be honest, and perhaps we can improve the next year.