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long overdue post
Jul. 20th, 2003 09:39 pmWell, these last few weeks have been an emotional roller coaster.
Since I last posted, around the 4th of July, I've had a week that was basically too full of good fun for me to make time to write. Then a pretty terrible week where I thought my grandmother was about to die. Followed by another one where I knew she was OK for now, but the frustration of being stuck slogging thru boring and confusing tasks at work combined with the feeling of being left out of the action of my real lab got me down. Not that there weren't a few bright spots (most of the day at Nantasket with Val, lots of calls from Andrew, getting rent worked out and swimming in Jill's pool), but my mood didn't really turn around until that Tuesday, when Ethan and I (and Sharon) made plans for dinner. Despite me being in possession of yet a new dwelling, we repeated meeting-places for the first time and got together at his house.
Today I attended a dashing Tea Party hosted by Amy Rose. Sally & John, Helen & Katie, Barak & Amy were there (and Joan Maling walked in as we were all breaking up and heading off (Amy & Barak are staying in her apartment)). I'd just bought a sweeping red-rainbow sari from a woman on Pearl Street, and took the opportunity to wear it. Formal attire had been requested, and India + tea go well together, no?
In the morning I biked around a lot of Cambridge, re-covering some of the streets Mira and I had wandered yesterday when she came over for lunch and Toscaninni's. (Amy & Barak crossed paths with me THREE TIMES in their car, which pleased and amused me.) I was very glad that Mira and I wandered around so much. I know I am in an extraordinarily great neighborhood, but I don't always -- more truthfully: hardly ever -- spend the time exploring it that is deserved. I will be moving away in a matter of weeks, so these bike excursions are more precious. And Mira is so appreciative of everything, it makes me feel prouder of my life. Even cooking three types of summer squash without a recipe is an adventure the way she responds to it!
Gene has left the lab, Vixy is moved back to Hawaii, and I am going to be getting the title to my car that I've been driving from my mom. Also, I am giving a try to sitting in a Kahana-lab workstation, and there is space now.
In other news, I am starting to feel old now. Not in a real full-on kind of way, and not like I'm saying I am any sort of geezer. I just mean that less and less is my reaction to some new sort of responsibility "What? No! I'm really not up to that, even if you might think I am! Even if I turn out to succeed...". I am beginning to be able to imagine myself as adult.
This sort of surprises me, because I have been very aware of my youth, or lack of perspective. I've almost always had this voice in my head that I referred to as the Older Me, reminding me of how my actions look when looked back on from the next perspective. She's gone away now, and in fact I haven't heard her for months. At graduation, when I most expected to get some insight into how this event would be remembered by me, I was on my own. That worried me a little, but now perhaps it is alright.
A small crisis came up: a graduated buddy of mine is apparently interesting in moving into our house into the supernumerary room that the Landlord Sean has created. He's a friend of mine, and I like him, but I have some reservations about him joining. This is a situation where I would love to get some insights from my older self about what will be a bad ways to handle this and what might be the best. But I don't really need to ask her, because I know.
My access to the internet continues to be only in the lab. That's why I've been posting less, and also I don't feel as motivated to continue lj-posting. Does anybody read this? I'd appreciate if you gave a shout-out in the comments and let me know.
bye
Since I last posted, around the 4th of July, I've had a week that was basically too full of good fun for me to make time to write. Then a pretty terrible week where I thought my grandmother was about to die. Followed by another one where I knew she was OK for now, but the frustration of being stuck slogging thru boring and confusing tasks at work combined with the feeling of being left out of the action of my real lab got me down. Not that there weren't a few bright spots (most of the day at Nantasket with Val, lots of calls from Andrew, getting rent worked out and swimming in Jill's pool), but my mood didn't really turn around until that Tuesday, when Ethan and I (and Sharon) made plans for dinner. Despite me being in possession of yet a new dwelling, we repeated meeting-places for the first time and got together at his house.
Today I attended a dashing Tea Party hosted by Amy Rose. Sally & John, Helen & Katie, Barak & Amy were there (and Joan Maling walked in as we were all breaking up and heading off (Amy & Barak are staying in her apartment)). I'd just bought a sweeping red-rainbow sari from a woman on Pearl Street, and took the opportunity to wear it. Formal attire had been requested, and India + tea go well together, no?
In the morning I biked around a lot of Cambridge, re-covering some of the streets Mira and I had wandered yesterday when she came over for lunch and Toscaninni's. (Amy & Barak crossed paths with me THREE TIMES in their car, which pleased and amused me.) I was very glad that Mira and I wandered around so much. I know I am in an extraordinarily great neighborhood, but I don't always -- more truthfully: hardly ever -- spend the time exploring it that is deserved. I will be moving away in a matter of weeks, so these bike excursions are more precious. And Mira is so appreciative of everything, it makes me feel prouder of my life. Even cooking three types of summer squash without a recipe is an adventure the way she responds to it!
Gene has left the lab, Vixy is moved back to Hawaii, and I am going to be getting the title to my car that I've been driving from my mom. Also, I am giving a try to sitting in a Kahana-lab workstation, and there is space now.
In other news, I am starting to feel old now. Not in a real full-on kind of way, and not like I'm saying I am any sort of geezer. I just mean that less and less is my reaction to some new sort of responsibility "What? No! I'm really not up to that, even if you might think I am! Even if I turn out to succeed...". I am beginning to be able to imagine myself as adult.
This sort of surprises me, because I have been very aware of my youth, or lack of perspective. I've almost always had this voice in my head that I referred to as the Older Me, reminding me of how my actions look when looked back on from the next perspective. She's gone away now, and in fact I haven't heard her for months. At graduation, when I most expected to get some insight into how this event would be remembered by me, I was on my own. That worried me a little, but now perhaps it is alright.
A small crisis came up: a graduated buddy of mine is apparently interesting in moving into our house into the supernumerary room that the Landlord Sean has created. He's a friend of mine, and I like him, but I have some reservations about him joining. This is a situation where I would love to get some insights from my older self about what will be a bad ways to handle this and what might be the best. But I don't really need to ask her, because I know.
My access to the internet continues to be only in the lab. That's why I've been posting less, and also I don't feel as motivated to continue lj-posting. Does anybody read this? I'd appreciate if you gave a shout-out in the comments and let me know.
bye
